Thursday, August 27, 2009

No time to blog and Teaching and etc.

Feels like I have been teaching forever when actual fact is I just finished my first official year. It's a depressing state when in full time employment, you feel so rigid, so restricted. I remember when I started my first year at the end of August 2008, it was Ramadan and it was the hardest Ramadan ever. Not only because iftar was late but the fact that I had to go through the whole day talking to a bunch of kids (who were not interested). Lack of water makes you thirsty but it doesn't help when you've been on verbal mode all day.

Ramadan last year was very weird also. Whilst Salat and Fast were maintained I was less connected with the experience. Work made me tired and it also made me super busy. Constantly thinking of lesson plans, planning homework and chasing students. Not to mention trying to get to grips with a new work environment, my first ever full-time work environment just to add. I was so immersed into this new experience that I had very little time to connect with the spiritual side of Ramadan. I feel that this year might be the same. I have become very nonchalant about the whole experience. Usually Ramadan is so fulfilling and a time where I would learn more things about my deen - I don't recall any of that last year and so far have not felt it this year.

I am due to start teaching in a few days, at a new place and I am just as apprehensive as last year in trying to think of the best lessons and learning about the new subjects I am going to teach. I am a maths teacher so you would think what is there that needs preparing? Well, maths comes in various different levels and sometimes it is the easy maths that throws you because it is so basic. Also, trying to keep with the exam board's brief can be a struggle because they are so vague and in maths there are many ways to do a calculation and you have to figure out which of these ways will the exam board give students marks for.

Teaching requires an extreme amount of creativity and time. It is a profession that it not credited enough I think. Admittedly I was a bit snobbish about this career before I got into it. Felt that anyone could get a PGCE and become a teacher. But having gone through the experience I credit anyone who passes their PGCE. It is such a gruelling and unsympathetic course. To write termly essays at masters level and have a full teaching timetable is enough to stretch anyone. I'm glad I went through it though. Most of the time I did cut corners but I guess the achievement was really keeping your head above water and making it to the end. Of course, it doesn't get any easier when you start teaching. I spent my first year overworked and with a constant migraine. Whilst there has been pockets of joy large amount was taken up by stress. I just hope this year is less stressful...